The Great Success of Sex and the City Series and Movies Around the World – Its Meaning for All of Us

In the movies world, both the Sex and the City series and movies are like in the shoes world Jimmy Choo Shoes, or like in the universe of jewelries Tiffany’s. That means in our universe the dream universe. With the 4 best friends of the movie- Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte- we feel like our lives is changing, our fantasies get wings and all of a sudden, everything seems easier, pinker, more beautiful. So I ask myself: is this movie a successful one? And I will answer with a proper and sincere YES!

Each woman presented in the movie represents a strongly defined character, but I think that in each one of us there is a little of all of them. Do you understand me? I mean, Carrie for example is that type of girl, who would give anything for a true love, which makes you feel in the heaven. Her girly attitude is the typical attitude every girl has in some proportion and the dream of meeting the soul mate is surely the dream of all of us. Then there is Charlotte, who is dreaming of a perfect family with the priceless, loving husband and some adorable kids. At some point of our lives, we will all end up wanting the same things as Charlotte does!

Samantha, the woman who knows what is fun and who likes to break the rules, is that crazy part of us which is afraid of compromising or getting involved into something serious, which we know we would handle only with a lot of work. This is natural and is almost a necessary part of our character. Miranda gives us the image of a hard-working and ambitious woman, who wants to succeed maximally both in her career and her family life, without neglecting none of them. She is the modern woman, who wants to show to the entire world that you can have it all. And don’t we all want to show the same thing to every one?

As a conclusion, I would say that the fact that the movie represents more types of characters, which can also lead to one and complex character helped to the big success of this movie. It’s almost a paradox that there are four characters, yet it’s one; and that they are experiencing a dream world, which is also the real world if we take time to notice this. Don’t you think the same way?

Are You Having “Good Enough” Sex?

In a previous article, “Are You Having Enough Sex?” I wrote about sex through the lens of quantity.  Today, the lens is quality.  Are you having “Good Enough” Sex and what does that even mean?

I’m borrowing the term “good enough sex” from a concept by the renowned psychoanalyst, Donald Winicott, who wrote about the “good enough mother.”  This referred to the idea that a mother didn’t need to be perfect, only attuned well enough to sufficiently meet the child’s needs so that it could grow up and mature into adulthood.  I would suggest that sex can also can be “good enough” in that it will allow the couple to connect, bond and share themselves with each other sufficiently in order to sustain a mature, adult relationship.

Practically speaking, there is a natural variation in sexual encounters with your partner.  They might not always be satisfying.  Sometimes you might feel like the top of your head has exploded.  Sometimes you might feel disappointed, like “is that all there is?”  This is normal and yet many couples hold themselves to superhuman standards of perfection, that each time must be the best time yet.

I’m recommending that you take some of the pressure off of yourself and your partner.  Sometimes “good enough” sex really IS “good enough.”  Some would argue that this is settling.  I don’t agree.  I’m not saying that we shouldn’t also have “Fourth of July Fireworks” sex, I’m only saying that over the course of time in a relationship, we want to have a sexual connection that sustains our bond in a realistic way.

There are many types of sex.  There is “vacation/honeymoon” sex, there is “the kids are at the movies” sex, there is “quickie” sex and “new situation/risky” sex.  There is “married people” sex which begins at 10pm on the dot on Saturday night and consists of five minutes of kissing, ten minutes of foreplay, eight minutes of intercourse, an “I love you” and a snore.  You’ve all experienced different variations and can add many different types of sex as well.

What is important is some consistency and some balance between “quantity” and “quality” in the sexual arena.  The sexual connection between a couple is an incredible opportunity to bond, to share, to become closer in a physical/emotional/spiritual way.  And while the quality of the sexual connection varies from sex act to sex act, it truly is one of the major ingredients in the “glue” that keeps couples connected.  I encourage you all to commit to more consistent sexual contact and to do your best to eliminate your judgments about quality.

That doesn’t mean you don’t want to work to improve the sexual chemistry with your partner.  The research really does indicate that “practice makes perfect.”  So get busy and remember, when your heart is in the right place, it will be “good enough” !

And as always, I welcome your questions, comments and experiences.

Dr. Adam Sheck

Sex and the City – The Movie – Coming to Theaters May 2008

If you are a Sex and the City fan, then hold on to your hats. Sometime in May 2008, the long anticipated Sex and the City Movie is planned to be released in theaters across the country. Over the last four years, talks about producing a Sex and the City movie have ended in a “no go” because Kim Cattrall wasn’t interested in doing a movie. However, once on board, the movie was a go, and it looks “sexy.”

The Sex and the City Movie Stats

Because I know fans want to know who will be in the movie, I am going to start with the cast list. You are going to be happy to learn that nearly the entire cast will be returning to play their star roles in the Sex and the City Movie. Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis and Chris Noth will all be back. The characters Steve, Harry, Magda, Stanford and Smith will also be in the movie, played by the original actors.

The production team of this movie is basically the same team used for producing the HBO series. The writers for this movie were Candace Bushnell, who was the author and columnist of the real “Sex and the City” column and book, and Michael Patrick King. King and Bushnell also acted as producers, along with Sarah Jessica Parker, for the movie. With a modest budget of about $65 million, and the original HBO team on board, we can expect a movie that delivers what we all have come to expect from the Sex and the City series.

The Story Line…

While the exact plot of the Sex and the City Movie is still rather elusive, we do know that it will pick up the story line from the series. Let’s go back four years to recap what happened during the final season of Sex and the City the Series…

Starting with Carrie Bradshaw, we know that she went to Paris with Alexandar and Big came to her rescue and brought her back to New York with the renewed promise of a more open, loving relationship. Charlotte and Harry received news that they were going to be given a baby girl from China in six months. Miranda and Steve had moved into their new home, Steve’s mom came to live with them and Miranda was trying to deal with the new family situation. Finally, Samantha open up to Smith and they took that last step towards a “real” relationship, when Smith returned home from shooting on location to be with her, hoping her sex drive had finally re-blossomed…

Now, fast forward four years and this is where the movie is going to pick up…