Great Sex is Like a Great Movie

A quick search tells me about 600 movies are released in US theatres each year. Now have a quick think and work out how many of those movies you actually watched. Then have another think and decide what ones you thought were actually great movies.

Now, putting aside personal preferences, there are some movies that capture the imagination of millions of people. Sometimes these are the movies that attract a lot of buzz like the latest Indiana Jones movie… but that doesn’t guarantee people will love it.

If you look at the various lists of top movies, I find there’s one common thread that runs through them. They took the audience on an emotional journey.

Think about your favourite movies… what emotions do you feel? Do you fall in love with the characters? Or do you hate them? Do the movies scare you? Or do they make you laugh? All great movies cause an emotional reaction in the viewer.

And the same is true for great sex. Sure, you can have sex 600 times a year, but if there’s no emotion it’ll never be great sex. If you think back to your most memorable sexual experiences you can see how emotion played a strong role.

Maybe you hadn’t seen your lover for a while or it was someone you had to chase for a long time. It could be that you just felt a lot of passion for that person or perhaps it was “forbidden” love. External events might have played a part and raised the emotion of the situation as well.

Emotion is what makes the difference between good sex and great sex. Sure, you can love someone and have good sex with them on a regular basis, but with a bit of a kick start you can turn this into great sex.

To do this you might try:

  • Having a special romantic evening
  • Teasing your lover
  • Having sex somewhere “naughty”
  • Abstaining… for a while
  • Playing out fantasies
  • Trying something “forbidden”
  • Creating anticipation in advance

There are many ways to heighten emotions during sex and I recommend you try everything you can think of. A little bit of thought is all it takes to take good sex and make it great sex… and who doesn’t want that?

Erotica Movie Review of the Trois Triology

This month I am focusing on a triple review of the Trois trilogy. Trois one, two and three are all very provocative stories of sexual escapades and suspense – some more better than the other. Each starring African American actors. And each movie presents highly erotic sex scenes and interesting stories that are engaging and involving throughout; each story has elements of a ménage à trois theme.

Trois 1 – The first installment to the highly erotic trilogy is filled with many twists and surprises. The story centers around an attractive young couple, Jermaine and Jasmine (Gary Dourdan and Kenya Moore), who moved to Atlanta. Jermaine convinced Jasmine to try a ménage à trois with another woman to spice things up; their relationship spirals down hill and he realized that having a ménage à trois was a
mistake. He found himself in a Fatal Attraction type situation except the other woman was more interested in his wife. Both Jermaine and Jasmine unlocked secrets about each others’ sexual past that they had wished were left alone. This movie is very erotic as well as carry a very appealing story line. This independent film has good acting, and good cinematography. It is understandable how this movie sets a standard of excellence and is the first in the Trois trilogy.

Trois 2: Pandora’s Box – Starts off with a highly erotic and very intense shower sex scene which soon came to a holt when there was a murder – hence the handsome Tyson Bedford only had a cameo role in this film. The story centered around Tammy, the wife of the murdered man and also the psychologist (Mia). Both women found themselves connected in a web of deceit when Tammy becomes Mia’s patient. Tammy wanted Mia to help her cope with her left over feelings related to her husband’s murder. Meanwhile, the police suspected Tammy was involved in the murder and asked Mia to discuss any pertinent information from their therapy sessions with them.

Doctor Mia listened to Tammy discuss her sex life and the many sexual escapades that she shared with her late husband. Mia began to realize that her own love life was in trouble. She was convinced by Tammy to experience the swingers’ lifestyle. Tammy invited her to “Pandora’s Box” – A sexually charged swingers club. Mia reluctantly agreed to visit Pandora’s Box, but became overwhelmed by what she saw (orgies, drugs, nudity, BDSM, and gay sex) in a highly sexually charged environment. As she wandered throughout Pandora’s Box she saw a man who was familiar to her. She was intrigued and became seduced by him. She knew that having sex with him was bad but she just could not resist. At that point, the story had many twists that made it more interesting. Mia realized that sometimes, things may not be as they seem. She found herself trapped in emotions and left to make a very serious decision that changed her life as she knew it.

There is a deep flaw in the initial story line when it comes to the love triangle the doctor finds herself in, but it all became clear towards the end of the movie. Hence, this made the movie even more interesting because it did not exactly end the way that I had expected. The acting in this movie was very good – better than the other two in the trilogy. The cinematography was done very well. The male leads (Michael Jai White, Kristoff St. John, and Tyson Beckford) had me wishing I was a character in this movie to experience the sexual pleasures that doctor Mia and Tammy had experienced. This installment was well written, but also very twisted – A thrill of a ride all the way to the end.

Trois 3: The Escort – This final installment was more urban contemporary than the previous installments. Trent, a concert promoter and law school drop out found himself over his head in trouble when his dealings with gangsters resulted in something that had the potential to become deadly. Trent agreed to work as an escort to make extra cash.

Once again in the tradition of Trios – this installment is twisted but more so towards the end. The madam of the escort service was very controlling and left him feeling trapped because she seemed to have special “feelings” for him. He found escorting as an escape from his parents’expectations of him, but soon realized that his choices had serious consequences that he was not ready for.

The beginning of the movie was somewhat slow if you compare it to the first two installments. And the story line and acting was somewhat “weak”. The cinematography was good. I would not have watch it if I had not already watched the first two installments. One of the best aspects of this film were the highly attractive lead characters Brian J. White (from Motives 2 – Retribution) and Patrice Fisher (from Zane’s Sex Chronicles)

Summary: What was an added plus for each of these movies were the attractive actors as I stated previously. I can not deny that all three of these movies were very erotic and very sexy. There was nothing that was subtle about the sex scenes. Especially in the Pandora’s Box installment. Mr. Tyson Bedford made a short but memorable cameo in the beginning during a steamy shower scene that still replays itself in my mind.

These movies can be rented on Netfilx, Blockbuster and purchased on Amazon.

Similar movies that you might want to rent or purchase are Motives and Motives 2 – Retribution

Sex, Lies and Video Tapes – Identify Bad Attitude Before You Hire It

This week’s read is not so much about the famous 1989 movie, “Sex, Lies and Videotapes,” as much as it’s about the behaviours of employees within the workplace.

As this is the political season on many fronts, it’s only appropriate to draw analogies of what may cause headaches for HR professionals and managers alike – behaviour that can get a company in hot water.

I won’t speak so much of NZ politics as I would violate the basic premise that in business, one should never talk about politics and religion. However, when it comes to BEHAVIOUR in politics, everything is fair game…

As managers, our fundamental principle is to ensure a profit (or least of which, ensure break-even for non-profit organisations) and protect the assets – plain and simple. Everything we do should be centred on this core mantra.

It amazes me how many times in business (and political) processes; this fundamental charge is ignored or even willfully violated.

In most Western business practices, the antics of leaders, and employees, has a direct impact on the health of an organisation. Example: I remember clearly how President Bill Clinton wagged his finger at the American people on TV – “I never had sexual relations with that woman…” Clinton’s folly had a profound affect on the Democratic Party and contributed to the loss of Senator Kerry – the legacy was too distasteful in some American’s minds.

As managers in charge, we have to be very, very clear about the ego states of our employees. We don’t have the luxury of politics. In fact, it seems that politicians are somewhat immune to the laws that we as managers must hold true, or face the devastating judgment of the Employment Relations Authority or – worse of all – Fair Go.

Employee attitudes (ego states) are learned behaviour. These attitudes are measurable and can be a good predictor of future behaviour. As a management consultant in North America, I was shocked at the number of transgressions I witnessed:

* I actually happened upon a client’s daughter, caught in a sexual encounter with the sales manager (found in the company supplies closet). The daughter was the general manager; the man was HER subordinate!

* Husband-wife owners (my client) of a successful garden supply centre in the States eventually divorced. The husband paid the wife $1.2 million tax free!! Auditors have just discovered that she had been embezzling over $100,000 each year for the past 5 years.

* The president of a very successful grocery chain in Los Angeles told me that on the application form for all front-line staff, the following was asked, “If a package fell from a delivery truck, would you put it on the delivery dock or would you put it in your car?” Over 60% answered that they would put it in THEIR CAR!! He said that he was so grateful that 60% of the workforce in LA admitting to being thieves!!

* And finally – one of the most shocking to me – the CEO of a drug testing centre in Sacramento, CA detailed how she tests almost all construction workers, commercial delivery drivers and other front-line staff in the area. The percentage of positive results to drug use? 85%!!!!! I mean, 85% of the truck drivers in the mid-San Joaquin Valley are on marijuana DURING THE DAY, if not on more debilitating drugs. They “counselled” the pot users. The heaver drug users were biffed out. Oh, that’s a relief…NOT!!

So, the moral of the story is, if you hear someone say that they smoked marijuana, but never inhaled (Clinton); or if they question the verb “is” with regard to what “is” sexual relations (Clinton again), then we have a serious breach of reality. And a former First Lady will never make it to the seat of the White House partially as a result of those types of indiscretions (among other things).

As managers, you have to ask yourself, “At what level of risk am I prepared to take with regard to protection of assets and the continuity of this business?” In essence, what part does “sex, lies and videotapes” affect your organisation?

I’m not one to pass moral judgment on anyone. Heaven knows I haven’t been an angel all my life. However, in the work place, I have to be a saint. As do all my reports. The laws are clear and ultimately I have a responsibility to the shareholders. Improprieties need to go out the door.

If attitudes is currently a problem within your organisation, then you must CAREFULLY follow due diligence to either rectify the situation NOW, or move that risk-point out the door – legally. Or least of which, you may have to legally install the use of surveillance cameras within your workplace – it can have a detrimental impact on morale, but it also let’s everyone know that they are “on deck” with regard to improper behaviour.

If bad or unlawful attitudes are potential risk-points within your organisation, then get some testing done as a condition of pre-employment. There are several quick, affordable and effective tools for pre-screening on sexual harassment, computer misuse, hostility, drugs, alcohol abuse and theft. Would an investment of around $45 be well worth saving the potential loss down the road?

If you want to protect yourself with future employee appointments, consider applying a validated pre-employment psychometric test. An ounce of prevention (attitudes testing) may be worth more than the pound of cure (lengthy and possibly expensive termination proceedings).