Let’s Talk About Sex: Reflections on Sexuality Education in the US

I’ve often heard it said that there are only two things in life that are certain; death and taxes. In my life, I’ve had two more revelations. First, change is inevitable. Secondly, if we pay close attention we always find reason to be hopeful, inspiration leading to the next right step and validation that we are living on purpose and doing what we are here to do.

Last night, while watching the movie, Let’s Talk About Sex, I got exactly what I needed. I love when that happens! I woke up grateful, inspired and energetic at a time when I could very easily be discouraged and frustrated.

Before I get too far into this article, let me tell you where I’m coming from. For the past ten years, I’ve been teaching comprehensive sexuality education programs starting in elementary school and continuing into young adulthood. I work with parents to help them better understand teen development and behavior and improve communication with their kids about sexuality and other challenging topics.

I give this movie two thumbs up. I agree with Hugh Jackman, “Whether you have children, teach children or are around children at all… this movie is a must see.” It clearly outlines some key issues that need to be addressed if we are to promote healthy attitudes towards sexuality while reducing teen and unintended pregnancy in the US.

The movie highlights the following issues:

~The United States has the highest teen pregnancy rate in all the developed countries.

~Our attitudes towards teen sexuality in the US are very different than in other developed countries.

~Sexuality is a huge marketing tool; used to sell lots of things in our country and in all types of media. The reality is that sex sells product.

~ Humans are sexual beings. We are all here because an egg met a sperm. Period.

~ Eighty-five percent of adults in the United States support comprehensive sexuality education for our youth. Science clearly proves that it works. And we are not doing it.

~ Religion poses a major barrier in the US to the delivery of what we know to be effective; namely comprehensive sexuality education. At the same time, religious leaders and organizations can play a huge role in providing new solutions to teen pregnancy.

~ Even when teens have honest, open relationships with their parents, most teens aren’t honest with their parents about their sexual activity.

This movie clearly outlines the most pressing issues we are facing in reducing teen pregnancy in the US. It reminds me why I am so passionate about my work and clarifies what we can together to help prevent us from losing more ground.

It is with that in mind that I reflect and share my thoughts about Let’s Talk About Sex.

As an educated woman and health professional, I find it astounding that the US has the highest teen pregnancy rate in all the developed countries. We know what works. We need to be doing it. Now.

I’m amazed that our advertising and media campaigns use sex to sell everything from lipstick to laptops; yet we live in a society where we struggle to providing our kids with accurate information about how their own bodies work and why.

It is ridiculous that 85 percent of US adults in our population support comprehensive sexuality education for our kids, yet we are losing ground on this issue because a small percentage of very verbal and powerful individuals and organizations keep fighting against what we know works, and in fact saves our government billions of dollars every year.

As all this is happening teenagers are continuing to engage in sexual behavior, are naturally curious about sex and/or thinking about sex and are afraid or embarrassed to talk about it openly to the people closest to them.

I spend a significant amount of my time helping teens reconcile the guilt they feel for not being able to talk with their parents about what they’re really thinking, what they’re really curious about and what they’re really doing. Their guilt doesn’t stop them from being sexually active. What they really want is to be able to tell their parents the truth about what they are choosing and why. Some choose to have the conversation. Some choose to wait to talk with them. Often we practice how to initiate the conversation. Some state that they simply can’t for fear their parents will disown them for going against family values.

Perhaps the most important issue of all, as I see it, that seems to beg for so much more attention than we have the time or funding to really address appropriately, but is perhaps the most important issue of all… love, healthy communication and relationship skills. How great would it be to provide a consistent forum and presence to allow kids to get support to help them understand and process all that’s happening to them physically and emotionally and learn how to grow through it with a great understanding of themselves and others as well as an appreciation for the miracle that sexuality is and a foundation for healthy respect and connectedness on all levels.

Lately, I’ve been struggling to identify new funding sources to support this important work that is in jeopardy. My clinic and outreach program is in NH. We have one of the very lowest teen pregnancy rates in the US. We use strategies that are proven effective and endorsed by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy and base all our programs on a research-based asset development framework developed by the Search Institute called the 40 Developmental Assets. Rather than having our funding, we should be used as a model for the parts of our country where the teen pregnancy rates are high.

Let’s Talk About Sex did a great job of motivating viewers to take action toward being a part of the solution! As the credits played, I began brainstorming a list of action steps we can take to spread the word and increase the frequency, reach and scope of conversations that need to happen to make the US shift toward better serving our future generation.

Teens in the US need your support. It’s not enough to say you support comprehensive sexuality education. It time to be taking action to be sure your kids are getting it! I suggest the following action steps:

~Watch the movie, Let’s Talk About Sex You can buy it on Amazon or stream if for free on Netflix by visiting http://www.letstalkaboutsexthefilm.com/

~Talk about the movie… with your spouse, your kids, your school district, your community! Check out this website for a discussion guide at http://www.letstalkaboutsexthefilm.com.

~Commit to taking action towards creating a solution!

~Find out what your child is learning at school.

~Evaluate honestly what your kids are learning from you and if you need support, get it.

~Start right where you are with your own kids and provide them with effective, comprehensive sex education.

Parents need to take an active, consistent and ongoing role to help their kids develop an understanding of their bodies and promote healthy sexual decision making, communication and attitudes that promote healthy relationships for a lifetime.

Porn – Here’s How To Get Your Woman To Watch “Naughty Movies” With You (Kinky Sex)

Most men tend to really like PORN MOVIES. Heck, I believe that in some ways “adult movies” are partly responsible for this current generation of men being unable to satisfy their women in the bedroom.

You see, when you have sex with your woman it is a visual and auditory experience – just like porn. However, unlike porn – when you have sex with your woman there are other senses involved, those being FEEL, SMELL and TASTE.

Basically, I think that when men watch too much porn – they become reliant on what they see and hear. Then, when they have “real sex” with their woman, they are not tuned in enough to what they feel, smell and taste.

So BE CAREFUL WITH PORN.

With that said, it can be fun to watch NAUGHTY movies with your woman – but you have to go about it the right way (and most men don’t).

First of all – if you are not giving your woman vaginal and multiple orgasms every time you have sex – DO NOT watch porn with her. The reason why is because if your woman sees a female porn star getting much more sexual pleasure on screen than you are giving her – your woman is likely to feel confused, annoyed and perhaps even angry with you!

So, get the sex working properly with your woman before you try to watch porn with her.

However, if you are giving your woman mind-blowing sex – feel free to watch porn with her occasionally.

Here Is How To Get Your Woman To Watch “Naughty Movies” With You

There is definitely something kinky and a little naughty about you and your woman “getting it on”; whilst you are watching other people “get it on” in a porn movie.

And women love to GET NAUGHTY – so this can be powerful.

The way to get your woman to watch porn with you is to choose the type of porn you watch with her very carefully.

You see, we guys tend to be happy watching any porn, as long as the woman (or women) is very attractive. We also tend to like to watch Lesbian porn.

However, your woman is a bit more picky when it comes to what porn will turn her on. Here is what most women want to watch:

They want to watch porn with a STORY LINE. And they want that story line to be a little naughty, a little wrong and a little perverse.

We guys don’t mind if the porn actors just start having sex as soon as the scene starts.

BUT – your woman wants to see FOREPLAY in the porn that you watch with her; just like she wants you to give her foreplay before you have sex with her (you do give your woman foreplay, right?).

So, let me really HELP YOU OUT by giving you some ideas of the type of porn and story lines that your woman will probably find a turn on:

– Naughty school girl being called to the headmaster’s office and then getting “punished” for being a bad girl

– Anything very artistic (women like those movies where the guys where masks and the women where leather cat-suits where the crotch unzips and everything else stays on)

– A woman takes her car in for a service, then realises she has no money to pay – so she pays the workers at the garage in “another way”

Do you get this?

Do you see how your woman’s mind works?

Women want the porn with the REALLY NAUGHTY story lines that slowly build up to sex. They do not want to watch the porn that jumps straight into sex because they find it boring.

So, if you want to get your woman to watch porn with you…

– Use it rarely (once every 6 to 8 weeks). Do not start trying to watch porn with your woman every night

– Choose porn that your woman will like (clever, naughty, slightly perverse, “wrong” story lines)

– Make sure you are giving your woman incredible sex BEFORE you start to introduce porn into your bedroom. If you aren’t giving your woman vaginal and multiple orgasms every time you have sex with, get that happening before you think about porn.

More than anything – your woman wants you to give her ORGASMS. Remember that.

Review – Sex and the City – The Movie

A top rated television series is just that. Top rated and not anything can take away from that fact.
However, trying to reinvent the same series on the big screen does not work as well. In the first place, the television series was just one-half hour long that was divided into a full hour time slot. The movie was over two hours long and other than a few spots of real life drama, it came across as a visual cream puff.

Of course, the fashions were breathtaking and so were the views from a Manhattan penthouse and the honeymoon villa on the coast of Mexico. As usual, there was the roller coaster romance between Karrie and Mr. Big, along with the mother-figure character Miranda warning Kerrie to be careful not to fall into his trap once again. The biggest surprise was the character of Samantha. She had really mellowed out from the bed-romping PR woman from New York City. However, Charlotte was in her usual form still living with Harry and her adopted Chinese daughter. Other than a few scenes, he mostly stayed in the background. The character of Steve comes across as even better than in the television series. He was given a lot more depth to work with in having to live with his high-powered wife, Miranda.

If the movie “Sex And The City” did one thing, it bonded women over the age of eighteen and at least gave them the idea that you can have anything you want as long as you are willing to pay a high price for it.